About Me — Emotional Pain Coaching

Twenty years ago, I decided to leave my former career as a software engineer behind, because I wanted to help people instead of work with computers. Because major neglect and abuse in my childhood, because of the trauma of losing my father at a young age, because of struggling to live with a serious chronic illness (Crohn’s disease), and many other difficult and painful experiences, I was very familiar with emotional pain. But having all that pain motivated me to learn about many different standard and alternative ways to heal it, and by learning about and trying them, I found out which ones worked and which ones didn’t.

I have continued to learn about how to heal emotional pain ever since. And I have added several of my own methods to those I learned, and many have turned out to be very effective.

You can read more about my coaching methods on the How I Coach page, but one trait I have that helps me coach people in emotional pain is that I put a high value on listening—to everyone, and that includes my clients. I have seen over and over that listening to them with both my ears and my heart is as important, if not more so, as what I say to them.

Even before I left my job as a software engineer, I had started helping people heal from their emotional pain. Here’s the feedback I got from a friend who was getting more and more discouraged because of his continual lack of success in finding a satisfying and long lasting romantic relationship:

“Thanks so much, Thomas, for all your help as I struggled through my relationship problems. You showed a rare talent by helping me get down to the real issues, provided some creative potential solutions, and were good at getting me to follow through taking the actions I committed to.”

My friend found—and is still in—the relationship he was looking for, the other people I helped got better, and I found helping and supporting them very satisfying. So when I quit my engineering job my goal was to help as many people as I could.

I recently worked with a woman who was consumed by grief because her daughter had died from a drug overdose. This is what she wrote:

“Dear Thomas, I am tremendously grateful for your special and caring coaching. While it didn’t make all my grief go away, it lessened it a lot, and you gave me ways to address it and take care of myself when it does come up.

Thank you always,

Adela C.,

Santa Barbara”

As I wrote above, you can learn about how I coach here. And to To help you start healing from your emotional pain, I encourage you to read my free report: 7 Things You Can Do to Heal Your Emotional Pain - Starting Today. I know you will find it helpful.